JULY 2001


Tampa has shitty weather. That's about as eloquently as I can say it. I arrived after a long-ass drive in the middle of a torrential downpour! Damn! It RAINS up there! Okay, okay...I know you want to know how "The" weekend went... well here goes.

   I was joined at the restaurant by Dan and we shared a candlelit dinner followed by an evening of dancing and laughter. We took a midnight stroll, hand in hand along the beach as the waves crashed in and then, under a blanket of stars, on a beach washed in moonlight, we kissed and all the passion of our memories came back to us. Without words being spoken we knew that what was always meant to be, could now begin again. We laughed about old times, and all we'd been through, that's when he kissed me and said, "I miss you"

okay....that's the way the dream went when I had it. Now, let's look at the reality...


I had a good time in Tampa. I spend the weekend hanging around with Dan and his best friend and "certified" fag-hag Roxy. She is da greatest! Always a story and a million laughs. Roxy, I know you're reading this, Thank you for great time. You are someone VERY special.

And Sabrina, the most beautiful French woman, and Roxy's friend. She's someone who speaks her mind, and she has this incredible french accent "to DIE for!"

This was not supposed to be weekend of anything but two very best friends getting together who enjoy each others company. The fact that we share 13 years of a past, just makes us closer friends. The fact that I still love Dan so much, makes me wonder sometimes, in the quiet moments, why I drive 8 or more hours to have a few moments of time only to find myself driving all the way back to Key West depressed.

But, somehow this weekend was different. I went up there with another purpose. I had created something as a gift for Dan, Something that meant a great deal to me. It had started, as I have written about before as a silly attempt to romance him and maybe win him back. It was almost 6 months in the making and during that time, this little "gift" evolved, It became MY way of trying to accept what was and what will more than likely never be again. It helped, I think, in allowing me to accept that. I once read that it takes half the amount of time you were with someone after a breakup, to get "over" that relationship. Let me just say this about that....

If I have to wait 6 and a half goddamned years to stop feeling like this, someone's in serious trouble!

Dan has this cute little way of always saying "who can say what might happen"when the occasional talk of "us" comes up. It's damned annoying, but I suppose it's true. Call it fate if you  like, or destiny. I always have and will continue to try and find the bright side, the silver lining.... as always I'll keep trying to simply enjoy the ride.

I really did have a wonderful weekend although we didn't "do" much. Dan is always apologizing for not being the life of the party. I keep reminding him he isn't the "entertainment committee". The time I have to spend with him, is nice enough, even if we're just sitting around eating bad microwave popcorn and watching a movie we've both seen before. I really do enjoy the pleasure of his company.

When I got up this morning he was still sleeping and I had a very long drive ahead of me. I hadn't yet given him the "gift" because I wanted to wait until I was leaving for that. So after I showered and packed and loaded up the car. I took my little gift and sat down on the bed next to him. I woke him up and said,

"Dan, I started creating this to try and win you back. It became my way of saying "goodbye" to the love of my life, and "hello" to my best friend on earth. I know that the "we " that once was, will never be again. I continue to try and accept that every day. This helped. I know it's kind of goofy, but since I was a child my feelings have always and best been expressed by music. Music has always played some big part of my life. I made an album of music, songs done by me. It started with so many songs that meant something to me or us, and wound up being 14 of the ones that for one reason or another, expressed it best. I know I have no talent for singing really, I hope I haven't embarrassed myself too much, but it was the best way I knew to let out what's inside. I gave him the album, We gave each other a long hug, a kiss, ...and I said goodbye.

I sing like a frog, but it's from my heart, so I guess that counts for something.

Driving home, after the first hour of recovery. (see! Why do I do this to myself?) I realized that I still have, in my heart all the love I've always had. That will never go away. Don't try and talk me out of it. I won't listen. I don't want to. It's a part of the fire, the passion for life, that keeps me going. It will be there forever. What I am learning to do is enjoy what I have, the now, the here,   .... the ride.

(but don't think Dan's little "annoying words" don't echo in my head on a regular basis)

I told you right up front this was going to be candid and honest. A little look inside my head. I write these pages, as I've said before, more for me, but I enjoy the feedback from you too. It helps to know people are out there and people care. Which, by the way is more of the reaction I get than anything else. People I do not even know, who stop in and want to share. I'll tell you one day about the 50-something year old married  (to a woman) guy who is gay and closeted, that I spoke to at length and we shared secrets and made each other feel good for a moment, there are other similar stories from people I've met here, through these pages. The world gets smaller and smaller. As it does, we should be getting closer and closer. It only stands to reason. If we're all going to be that close, we'd better learn to get along, help where you can, and most importantly of all...be a friend.

Roxy- You're in charge! Take care of my Dan when I'm not around will you? Watch over him and make sure he's okay. Oh, and DON'T let him pull another one of those "quick move" stunts. (You know what I'm talking about!) If he starts with that crap again...kick his ass for me, would ya?

Honestly, if you, gentle reader, if you are ever in Tampa/St Pete, and you hear a VERY loud VERY funny Puerto Rican woman laugh, watch your back...it's Roxy and her laughter is infectious.

ps: I just HAD to add this. It's 12:30AM and I was about to go to bed for the weekend. I checked my horoscope for today (no, I don't rely on them, I just find them "interesting") but this part of what I read a minute ago I just HAD to share with you! I LOVE this:

"Do the best you can, with the light you have to guide you"

Whew! Powerful stuff!  G'nite for now

07/03/01: It Friday!!!!! (Part ONE!) I love these weeks with 2 Fridays in them! woo hoo! Although I'm not sure if I'm gonna go out tonight, or just stay home and mostly behave myself. Key West is having it's usually midsummer bump in the off season. The island seems especially busy this 4th of July holiday. It's nice, right on the middle of "off-season" to have this holiday and see some unfamiliar faces in the crowd. After this it stays quiet until October and the start of another season. Of course, tomorrow I'm supposed to go to dinner with Martin and the gang <swoon!> but I haven't heard again form him since last weekend, so I'm not sure if the invitation is still open. (I know, I know, "I" should call him, but you know me...)I'll wait patiently by the phone for him to call. No, you know what. THIS time I'm going to call him! It's time Jay grew some gonads. I'm gonna suck it up and call him later on tonight to confirm our dinner.There, I said it! not all I have to do is go through with it! hehehe.

Some exciting happenings today in the world of law enforcement. My partner Luis and I went along with The Key West Police Department and conducted an operation at a residence. I can't talk about it much, except to say it was successful and the results were, we confiscated almost a half a pound of pot, packaged for sale. Street value of about $810.00, a scale, some crack rocks, and about 4 ounces of cocaine, street value of about $15-20,000. Someone isn't going to have a very nice weekend! You can see a picture of Luis and I with the goods from the arrest  by clicking HERE.

Other than fireworks and dinner, I'm not planning much for the holiday. I'll be around here mostly, and hope to talk with more of you. Thank you to those of you who stop by and say hello, sign my guestbook and send me emails. It really is great to get to meet you and in some cases reconnect with old friends. I'm still working hard on setting up a regular webcam here instead of the Camarades site, but I'm not going to run it unless I can do some version of "streaming". I really hate those 15 second refresh cams, It may come down to that if I have no choice, but I'd much prefer a streaming cam. Something similar to the way the DJParis site works. We'll see what happens.

I'll be back here again tomorrow, with details of my adventures with Martin....(yeah, right, like THAT'LL happen! LOL)

07/04/01: HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!!!!!!   <insert fireworks here>

I love fireworks and I'm going to dinner tonight, with Martin and some friends at the Casa Marina for the party. It should be a great time. (Of course spending time with Martin would be great anywhere! hehehe). I'll give you a full report tomorrow on the night's festivities.

Okay, here it is: I've had a lot of people, since I wrote about my weekend in Tampa ask me about the album I made and wanted to know if they could see it, or better yet hear it.

I seriously considered NOT doing this, but in my quest to open up my life here, I've said again and again I would be as honest as I can, without getting myself or anyone else in trouble (or arrested!). SO for those of you who REALLY want to, or those of you with a masochistic side.... Here is the album I made. You've been warned!

Hope your holiday is filled with hot dogs and potato salads and baseball games and swimming holes and family and fun!

Enjoy the ride....

07/07/01: Well, It' FRIDAY!!!!!   AGAIN!!!!!! What a long week! But I got a lot accomplished. I'm still working on the new "on-site" webcam the page is there from the "WebCam page, but it doesn't run all the time. I'm going to the mainland (Miami) tomorrow and I expect to get another camera, so it won't be long before you'll have two shots to choose from. I'm thinking about one here at the computer and one in the living room. I'll have to see where there's more action. (Not THAT kind of action!)

I meant to tell you about the Key West fireworks this year, THEY SUCKED! I mean, for as long as they lasted they were nice, but that's the problem, they only lasted about 5 minutes! I've heard stories, something about someone crossed the wrong wires and a bunch of them went up all at once that weren't supposed to or something, but all I know is they were TO SHORT. I also never made it to dinner with Martin and the gang that night. I had to go "up the Keys" as we say, which can mean a four hour drive plus, in this case it did and I was late in getting back, so I called ahead and told them I wouldn't make it. I just arrived in time to shower and go to the shortest fireworks display in the U.S.A. Whooptee Doo! It figures, just my luck. I finally have a dinner scheduled with MARTIN, albeit hardly a date, just a fun dinner with friends, and I can't get there!

Well, we're supposed to reschedule the dinner. Now look, Martin has a boyfriend already, so don't go thinking anything, (Not that I haven't thought it myself) I know Martin's boyfriend and he's a really nice guy. Unless I can think of a way to bump him off, there just can't be any hope for me. You know, I shouldn't talk like that, with my luck, something will happen to him and they'll come looking for me! Martin did come to visit me at my office this week and has called me a  couple of times.  We're supposed to get together this weekend for drinks. Nothing planned, just a "hey, I'll look for you out there" (Yeah right! Read: I'll be out there purposely looking for you!) He really IS just the cutest guy on this rock... He's a sweetheart and I'm really glad we've gotten to be friends. Whatever else may happen.... like his boyfriend comes down with some extremely rare tropical ...oh nevermind!

The next 3 weeks are going to be busy ones. My boss, Lt. Cindy is going away on vacation and has left ME in charge! OH GAWD! Can you say "brain-fart"? Actually, I'm quite grateful and proud that she would think of me that way. Thank you Cindy! It really means a lot to me.

Well, a big weekend ahead. I have Martin hunting to do and Key West is FULL of hot men for the 4th of July Holiday! WIsh me luck! I'll see ya out there!

07/08/01 Sunday night, late for me, since I have to be on time for work tomorrow. but I had a GREAT weekend! Friday night and Saturday I hit Bourbon Street and 801 and met up with Ron, my karaoke friend. We found a new place to sing! It's call "Two Friends" on Greene street in Key West and they have a great karaoke system and I think they offer it 7 nights a week! Well I actually got up and sang, after having my courage upgraded by a couple of drinks! I did one of my favorite songs "At This Moment" by Billy Vera and The Beaters. It's a great song for karaoke too! The crowd seemed to like it! Ron sang another Elton John song and we had the best time. They actually closed by 1 or 2 so we were still in the mood to sing and went back to "Rick's" our first karaoke spot and we both got up there and embarrassed the hell out of ourselves, but had a great time doing it! We will definitely go back to Two Friends though. Unfortunately, when I found Ron Friday night, he had just received some really bad news about his Dad back in the Philippines, and just yesterday his father passed away. So we spend some time taking his mind off of things, and trying to have some fun. He needed that. His contract is about up down here and he'll be leaving soon probably back to the Tampa area. I hope to be able to continue what has become a very close friendship. He really is a sweetheart of a guy and we always have the best time together, even if it's just "hangin' out". I've been helping him with some official paperwork so he can get over to the Philippines to say goodbye to his dad. Tonight he came over for an impromptu dinner and he was actually on my webcam for a while, so you might have seen him. If not Here's a shot.

Today I went to Miami and did some shopping. Every now and then when you live down here you have to get off the rock and get someplace a bit more cosmopolitan. So the malls and shopping usually does the trick for me. Besides, I wanted to get the new webcam. It's up and running now and the quality is incredible compared to my old worn out camera. If you've seen it since this evening, I'm sure you'll notice the difference. Now to get them both working at the same time! (UGG!) Incredible storms all the way down the Keys this afternoon driving back. From the mainland on down, but as much as I don't like thunderstorms, I find them beautiful to look at (from a distance!) It rained so hard at one point I had to stop on the side of the road and let it pass over.

Well, it's getting very late and I have work staring me in the face tomorrow.  My deepest condolences to Ron and his family. I will be thinking about you.

More tomorrow...Hope your weekend was spectacular!

07/10/01: I just read my horoscope for the day and I found the advise there to be REALLY incredible, I thought I'd share it with you, since I know a bunch of people this could apply to and might actually help! (My self included) Here's what it said:

Do you wish that people would be more sensitive to YOUR  feelings and needs? If you're sick and tired of being taken for granted and feeling used, maybe it's TIME to let YOUR feelings and needs be known for a change!

When you don't TELL people what's going on INSIDE you, how are they to know what you want and need from them?? If  YOU -- of all people -- don't act like your feelings and needs are important, why should THEY? Hey, Capricorn ! You're supposed too be the PRACTICAL type and have a lot of COMMON SENSE.

Can you see how it just doesn't make SENSE to conceal your feelings from others? You set people up to upset you when you keep your feelings to yourself. BE FAIR! Your brother and sister apes are merely aping what you are doing unto yourself. If you want people to be BETTER to you, Capricorn, then be BETTER to yourself.

WOW! Even if you're NOT a Capricorn, think about what that says! It is some GREAT advise for anyone who, like me, sometimes has a problem telling people what's "going on inside". Now I know you're sitting here reading some of my inner-most thoughts, some of you do that on a daily basis. But when it comes to the real thing, in person, face-to-face, THAT'S when Jay runs into a dark corner and hides..... Not always, with my close friends for example, I'm very open with my feelings and emotions, but there are times when I know that I would have felt a whole lot better about things, if I'd have just said what I really wanted and needed at the time. I'm going to try and remember these words next time that happens!

Well, it Tuesday morning and I  seem to have survived another Monday. Ron's doing fine, I did pass on the condolences that several of you send to me to forward to him, He thanks you and wanted me to let you know he appreciate your thoughts.

I'll finish more in this section this evening... until then....

(later, that same day <orchestra cue>)

Can you say...       DSL???
It finally came this afternoon, and I'm just got back online now! I know for those of you with cable modems and T-1 lines and ISDN thingys, you won't be impressed, but let me tell you, when you live in the Keys you take what you can get and, for now, the fastest, reasonably priced internet line available is a DSL modem, They don't yet offer a cable modem here. But I have to tell you I'm VERY impressed! Of course, after a 56K dial-up, It didn't take much! I did however have the BIGGEST bitch of a time getting the damned thing to work. Something was royally F***ed up between the software and my machine and I literally spent 2 hours on the phone with Bell South's tech support folks trying to make it happen. They were VERY helpful, and I have to say a BIG thank you to Lisa!!! She stayed with me through my frustrations of getting this thing up and running, we tried everything and then tried them all again, Lisa, you are great! In fact, when we were through, I asked to speak with her supervisor, How many times have you ever been treated incredibly WELL, instead of badly and taken the time to let somebody know how much you appreciate it. I let her supervisor know what an incredible job she did, and how much I appreciated her help and that she stuck with me for all that time to get it up and running. Honestly, I know it's rare, but the next time somebody, especially some telephone tech support or whatever person really goes above and beyond....let their supervisor know about it. It might not anything but brighten their day and make them smile, but hey..... That's enough!

It's up and running it's fast and it's great! Now, of course I'll be looking around for a bigger hard drive or a zip drive to store all the stuff I can download in no time! LOL! I continue to get emails from people who say they stopped in and browsed around the pages, and who stop and watch me on the web cams.  I really do try and answer each one personally, If I missed anyone, I'm sorry, but I really do try and respond to all the mail I get as soon as possible. My next project to really work on getting the two cameras running at the house. Stay tuned! More to come!

07/11/01: Okay...first the good news, then a bitch or two...

I made it into the Top 30! today! Number 29 in the Jasbits Voting. I know it's not much, but thank you to everyone who took the time to click thru and vote for my site. It really does help when you do that. Remember ,you can only vote once per day, but DO vote that one time each day. It makes a difference! One day I'll give those other guys a run for their money! LOL

Now, for the bitch or two...

I've had a number of people ask me about MTV being here in Key West and want to know about how it's going and what they're doing.... Let me 'splain something to you.

MTV has been here for a number of weeks. They've shot a bunch of shows and closed down streets and generally made a pain in the ass of themselves since they got here. However, if you've been watching the shows they've aired from here and thought, "Wow, look at all those hot guys and girls down there from Key West. What a party town! Think again. Most of the people (audience-crowd) you've seen on these shows are NOT from Key West. As far as I've been told and can see, they've bussed them down from Miami or Ft. Lauderdale, or East Bumf*** Jabrew, I don't know, but I can tell you that if there ARE any locals, the ratio is about 100 to 1. As for local talent, etc, ...none, or damned little. This rock is FULL of some incredibly talented people, some very funny people, some very entertaining people and they seem to feel they need to go outside of the place to do what they're doing.

Now listen, I spent a long time in the radio business. I know that they are in the "business" of television. If they don't think the "look" of Key West is what they want to put out on their network, so be it. It just really pissed me off that they portray it as though they just "plopped" down the camera in town and put up a stage and everyone showed up for the party. Believe me, this "party" is the most produced one you'll very attend.

This is NOT "sour grapes". I couldn't be LESS interested in what they're doing. But I just didn't want you to think, as apparently some have, that what you see is what you'll get when you come down for a vacation. Hey...this IS a party town. It IS a TON of fun! 24/7, but the real Key West is not the produced party you see on MTV.

Okay, I've gotten that off my hairy chest..... whew! Sorry, had to vent...

Actually, enough bitching. On to more interesting things. I had a dear friend of mine do a Tarot card reading for me last night and thought you might be interested in the results. He did it over the internet, so the "energies" are somewhat weird I think, but interesting anyway.

I asked him to see what the cards said about my love life and here what they revealed:

(This was a chat conversation, I took out his name, but it explains some of the strange comments!)

"First your past... the justice card in an up-right position.

JaySheldon: (11:46 PM) ok, I'm gonna let you talk and not keep saying ok or go ahead....

Justice holds the scale of fair and impartial decisions in one hand and the sword of consequence in the other. From the human perspective, events may seem random, but there is meaning. The Justice card often refers to the courtroom and legal judgments, but its influence is not limited to this arena. Each action has both a cause and effect whether they are physically apparent or karmic. You may be feeling the effect of a past good deed or mistake. What you set in motion is returning to you.

Next the present The tower, in an Upright position.

An unexpected bolt of lightening destroys the enduring Tower. Drastic changes can interrupt life without warning. If you don’t like change, you had better learn to at least accept it--fast. Sudden crises and emotional outbursts force us to wake up. Keep in mind that change is necessary so try to find a positive aspect in upheaval. The changes indicated aren’t always of a catastrophic nature: a new job, the banishment of illusions, wonder what that could be.... and the clearing away of negative karma can be on the horizon.Stop focusing on the material and over-indulging the senses. Turn towards the spiritual.

The Future, the Stars in an upright position.....

JaySheldon: (11:50 PM) hmmmmmm

The stars are a source of hope, guidance and inspiration. Life in the heavens is far removed from the petty concerns of earth. This card reminds us to have faith in ourselves and our future. Inspired, we take the first step towards our goals and dreams. The appearance of the Star card also indicates that now is an especially good time for an astrological reading.Good things are on the way. Enjoy them! I must be moving to Key West... I better do a reading for myself! lol

your love card is the fool, in an inverted position.......

JaySheldon: (11:55 PM) oh GREAT!!!!!!!!

A current love may be leading you on and this will show up today when someone lets the cat out of the bag. You are not too concerned as it only confirmed your suspicions. Today at work is not all that you have wished for but at least you managed to get the finance dept. straight. Hmmm, finance? Tell me you did not give everyone a raise today!

JaySheldon: (11:56 PM) nope, not a shot

You'll be torn in many different directions if you try to take care of everyone's demands all at once. Organize yourself and take care of your own needs first. Don't get taken for granted. You will meet compatible mates if you join in recreational activities, and I do not mean sex......

JaySheldon: (11:58 PM) damn! Just my luck!

Tee hee hee!

Capricorn is one of the most stable and (mostly) serious of the zodiacal types. These independent, rocklike characters have many sterling qualities. They are normally confident, strong willed and calm. These hardworking, unemotional, shrewd, practical, responsible, perservering, and cautious to the extreme persons, are capable of persisting for as long as is necessary to accomplish a goal they have set for themselves. They are reliable workers in almost any profession they undertake. They are the major finishers of most projects started by the 'pioneering' signs; with firm stick-to-it-ness they quickly become the backbone of any company they work for.

Capricornians make of themselves, resourceful, determined managers; setting high standards for themselves and others. They strive always for honesty in their criticism of self, they respect discipline from above and demand it from those beneath them, also not talking about sex here.... shesh! In their methodical, tough, stubborn, unyielding way, they persist against personal hardship, putting their families and/or their work before their own needs and welfare to reach their objectives long after others have given up and fallen by the wayside. In fact when practical ability allied with the drive of ambition are required in employees to make a project succeed, Capricornians are the people to hire. They plan carefully to fulfill their ambitions (which often include becoming wealthy), they are economical without meanness, and able to achieve great results with minimum effort and expense. Because of their organizing ability they are able to work on several projects simultaneously, this could be sex..... lol.

There you have it..... I thought it was interesting, and in some ways quite accurate! An inverted fool as a love card?!?!?! woo hoo!

G'nite and I'll talk to you all soon! Thanks for watching!

07/12/01: Is tomorrow Friday already?! THAT'S good news! A BIG thank you again to everyone who voted for my cam again today at Jasbits Voting! I stayed in the top 30 and at one point make it as far as number 25! woo hoo! It turned into a relatively busy day at work, lot's going on, nothing I can write about! :(

I met a great guy from New Jersey tonight on line and heard from lot's of people who were looking in. It's great to meet new friends here and I hope you're one of them. I do want to offer a public apology to anyone I didn't get back to yet, or if i seemed a bit distracted when we were chatting. It get's busy with "IM's" and ICQ messages and I really don't want anyone to feel "ignored", I really do try and say at least hello to everybody who bothers to send me an email or a message.

I got one tonight that really make my day:

Dag: "well lord only knows there have already been enough nudity cams around anyway!!!! How refreshing! Somebody who actually would rather talk!"

I make it very clear that I'm not here to shove my privates on camera, If that's what you're looking for there's plenty of sites for that elsewhere. But if you're looking for some honest and interesting conversation. I'm all fingers (hehe) at the keyboard, and yes, I'd actually rather "talk". Read the disclaimer on my Camarades streaming camera page HERE. Hey, I'm not a prude by ANY means, some of you have found THAT out! <eg> but there's a time and a place....

Have a great Friday and don't forget to click your Jasbits vote!!!

07/14/01: I wouldn't normally update this journal much over the weekend, until Sunday night. I'll have more stories to tell then I'm sure, BUT I just woke up and checked my email and found an article that a friend had sent to me. I had to share it with you. I hope it outrages YOU as much as it did me. If there's any way you can help, please do, I know I am sending a check this afternoon. The article will open in a new window and you'll find it by clicking HERE.

Thanks and I'll write more Sunday evening.

<music cue> (later that same weekend...)

Isn't it strange how a weekend that started out to be quite unremarkable, can turn into a GREAT couple of days! I heard from my friend in Orlando, who prefers to remain fairly anonymous, altho you can find his picture somewhere on these pages....

I hadn't heard from him in a few weeks and thought maybe he'd forgotten all about me, but, he called to say "hello" and that he was thinking about me. (thump-thump  thump-thump) We talk about seeing each other again soon. (swoon) There's a lot more to this story, but I think it best to reveal it a little bit at a time.

Kind of build up the mystery.....hehehehe

next subject: I went out last night for a drink with Martin and his boyfriend Alex. We met at Virgillio's a great restaurant and an even better quiet little bar, altho last night was anything but quiet! Damn! I've never seen that place so crowded. It was fun. I also had the pleasure of meeting Martin roommate Alain. He is a-door-able! <swoon!> and a real sweetheart of a guy too! Imagine, looks AND a personality! After a drink or two we headed to Bourbon Street and I ran into a bunch of friends from the Sheriff's Office out on the town, causing trouble. You know it's actually tough sometimes when I see people I work with out and about. They all know what I do for the department and I can't help but feel, even though they are good friends, that sometimes I kind of cast a "shadow" because of the nature of my job in Internal Affairs. They act as though they have to be on their 'best behavior' and so I find myself often not hanging around for an extended time with them. I don't want to be a damper on the fun. That's not meant to be a "poor me" statement, it's just something I think about and try and avoid if possible. Hey, if we're all out there, we're ALL having a great time. Martin decided to play the part of "old tired woman" and went home early (what's up with that, Martin?)  Alain and I went to Diva's and then I took up the role of "tired old woman" and headed home, but WOW!, what a GREAT night!

And by the way Martin...I still owe you for the Garth Brooks and Vanilla Ice comments, oh...and also for the Jagermeister....LOL! Okay, I'll tell you...

He made a comment about my hair, if you've seen me on camera, you seen I put some blond highlight in the front and I have a flat top haircut. So, okay it was an easy insult, but Vanilla Ice was a funny one. I mean, who ever thinks about him anymore. As for Garth Brooks, I decided last night that I was tired of the typical Key West "going out" attire (501's or shorts and a t-shirt or tank) so I dressed up. Not dressed "to the 9's" or anything, just some nice dark green slacks and a forest green button down shirt. I wore the pants because my best friend on earth (see "work" pages) Susie, told me my ass looked really cute in those pants, so I figured what the hell, go with what works! Well, as it turns out, in the darkness of Virgillio's it looked like I was wearing an all black outfit, so Martin, not being one to resist a good insult asked me what the "Garth Brooks" look was all about...har-dee-har-har. The Jagermeister? I had never had it before and Friday night Martin "introduced" me to it. suffice to say, I liked it, but it didn't like me! Thank god for good kind hearted roommates who don't mind picking up friends at late hours! I need to get a picture Martin on this site somewhere, remind me to take my camera with next time. Then I'll have the evidence! LOL!

Hey!!! Keep voting at JASBITS!!! I made it up to number 25 this weekend! woo hoo! and thank you to everyone who voted. Remember you can vote once a day!. One vote per day keeps the blatant beggin away! BY going to the link I put there, you can scroll down and find where I'm ranked. When you're there, you'll notice a little button marked "QwikVote" next to my name Jay Sheldon Dot Com.....<hint: CLICK IT!>

Life, in general, is good. I hope your's is too. Thanks for sharing part of mine...

Monday, July 16th, 2001: Happy Monday! Oh come on, it's not THAT bad now is it ,really? I have to start you off with a laugh. That crazy Deputy Lin from Marathon sent me the funniest email. Maybe you've seen it or heard it before, but if not, here it is. It really IS the comeback line of the year! Maybe the decade:

A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.

"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I

might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,

or a death in your immediate family - but that's it! no other excuses


A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks,"What would

you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual


The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When

silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student,

shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the

exam with your other hand.

Wednesday July 18th, 2001: Wow! Did this week fly by. I wrote that little piece above on Monday morning and never had the chance to get back to the journal entry. The next thing I know I look up and it's Wednesday!

When I have a rare piece of down time, there are a few chat rooms you might find me in on AO-HELL! now if you're a fan of AOL, don't get pissed off here ,but as much as I have had an account there for about 10 years now (WoW! I can't believe I've been on there that long) I avoid AOL like the plague! It's annoying, it's damned slow, it's a pain in the ass, and websites, most especially the graphics on websites, look like crap in their lame-assed version of Internet Explorer etc. Now, listen, I understand that for some people it's all they have for access to the net. That's fine, but if you're sitting here reading this with your AOL browser, please believe me, you're NOT getting the whole enchilada when it comes to experiencing the internet.

To properly view this (and many other websites),  here's some AOL help to turn OFF "Compressed Images".

Websites will take slightly longer to download, but hey, at least the pictures won't be a big blurred mess when they download!

To do this:

Click the "My AOL" icon on the toolbar at the top.

Click "Preferences", then the "WWW" icon, then the "Web Graphics" tab.

Make sure that graphics are NOT being compressed, and click "OK".

 Believe me, even that little trick will work......

Damn now look what I've done, another rant and rave ,off tangent, blah-blah!

When I'm on AOL and bored, you might find me in one of two chat rooms. Either KeyWestM4M, only because I LOVE the drama queens and their back stabbing, nit-picking, little "cat-fights" (Sorry girls, but you KNOW I'm right!) or I'll hang around in one of the several GAM4GWM <1-2-3> because I am a rice queen (another 'just-kidding") but, if the shoe fits....

Tuesday, July 24th 2001: "If there is a gap between past happiness and future happiness, bridge the present with happiness remembered, and happiness anticipated."

The next time you find yourself in a bad situation or feeling sad about things that you have no control over, remember those words. They apply in a few situations in my life....

Well, I've got a bunch of housework and laundry to catch up on and some site maintenance to attend to.

Saturday, July 28th, 2001: My god! July is almost over! whew! What a month it has been! This month had been one of the best times I've had in a long time, as I look back on it. This site is up and running well, although I'm still having problems with getting both cameras running. I'm still working on it. I've met some of the greatest people through the site and continue to meet new people every day. It's really nice to get to know most of you. I'm not always able to reply right away to ICQ and IM's and emails, but I do my best to keep up with them. If you have written to me and haven't had a reply back yet, I'm sorry....I usually try and respond, even with a quick note, to everyone who writes. I figure, if you take the time to write me, the least I can do is write you a quick note back. (right DJ?) It's been very strange, this living online I've been doing lately. This little project has taken on a life of it's own! Scary sometimes!

Oh! I almost for got to tell you. I received a call from the current President of Florida L.E.G.A.L. (Law Enforcement Gay and Lesbian), the Florida chapter is based here in Key West. Founded in 1999 to promote diversity, acceptance, and non-discrimination of all classes of persons in our communities and within the criminal justice profession through education, solidarity, and professionalism; to provide a network for education, support, and collegiality among gay and lesbian law enforcement officers and other criminal justice professionals. That's a quote from our site. Apparently I have been nominated for Vice-President! Wow! Thank you guys! I accepted the nomination and I'll let you know what happens. It really IS an honor just to be nominated!

July has been berry berry good to me. I've stayed consistently in the top 20 webcams on Jasbits (thank you everyone who continues to vote daily!), I'm way up on the "Ultimate WebCams" list too! and some of you have joined the free personals sites that link off of my webcam pages. That makes me a little cash and helps pay the bills that I incur running this thing.

I've written before that I wouldn't do anything overtly sexual around here, and I continue to hold to that. However, I also told you that the cams just look in on my life as I live it. Well, a short story...I was getting ready to go out and making myself pretty earlier today and walked out of the bathroom butt naked, well apparently a few of you were looking in when that happened. No one sent me a screen shot (thank god!) but someone did send me This picture!!! It's a huge file, but it's worth the download! LMAO!

They said it was a representation of how they looked when they saw my naked butt walking across the room. It's VERY funny! Thanks for that guys! You made me laugh!!!

It's been a weird weekend for me though.

I'm dying to see Planet of The Apes! Hopefully I'll see that this weekend! Can you say Mark Wahlberg! Yummy! Don't ya just wanna lick his abs! hehehe... Well, there's much more weekend to go, and I'm ready for some fun! I'll keep you up to date Sunday  night. Hope you weekend's an adventure!

Sunday, July 29th, 2001: What a strange weekend this turned out to be! Actually it was a weird combination of good and bad.
The bad, well actually embarrassing. but I told you I'd tell all here, so here goes.....

For those of you who don't know me, I'm a smoker. I hate it, I wish I could quit, I hate cigarettes, I hate the smell of cigarette smoke. I hate everything about smoking. I sit in the non-smoking section of restaurants. etc etc etc. BUT, (strange as it sounds...) I smoke. I'm addicted to it and after trying literally everything to try and quit. I give up!

'nuff said...

I badly felt the need to be around people tonight and also wanted to dance, so I headed out to T-dance at Atlantic Shores. I'm standing there and suddenly feel something "biting" my ankle. I try and knock it away with my other foot and it keeps "biting" me, so I reach down to swat it away, only to realise that while I was standing there, apparently a hot ash from my cigarette had fallen into a fold at the bottom of my jeans and started to burn.... it made it's way through the jeans, through the sock and now is burning my ankle! GAWD!

Thankfully, it hadn't actually caught fire! Just was sitting there smoldering! I can just see myself running off the dock at The Shores to jump in the Atlantic to "put myself out"! hahaha! Talk about "looking HOT"! Okay, so color me embarrassed. I looked around as I was making sure I wasn't setting myself on fire and trying to put the embers out, and I don't think anyone noticed, so, let's just keep this our little secret, okay?

Dan called earlier, he had a nice time in Miami this weekend with Roxy, not to many details, just said he had fun....damn! 2 hours away, and I missed him....oh well.....next time.

I hope your week is an adventure! Enjoy the ride. August is JUST around the corner (can you believe it!?). A new month and who knows what new adventures it may bring.

I hope all of your's are great ones!