Monday, February 25th, 2002: It's 5:42PM and we just got back from paying for our tickets to Malaysia. Now,'s for certain. No turning back, (unless we want to lose about 2 grand) and while I should be happy about a trip to SouthEast Asia, I couldn't be more sad.
Not to continue to be a silly Mary about the whole thing, but it finally has hit home. He's really leaving, we're really going to be apart for all that time. We really will have to cling to faith and hope that our love is strong enough and our relationship will survive over the coming 2 years and ten-thousand miles.
At this very moment, I am feeling two very distinct and different feelings. None of them very good. Of course I'm very sad. I don't have to explain that feeling, but at the same time, I can feel this anger growing inside me. Anger born out of the fact that people are out there, every single day, fighting against the laws and rule that will keep us apart. Anger that is built on the idea that when I drive down the road or walk down the street holding my partner's hand, some people still look at us and "suck their tongue" in disgust or laugh. I don't really give a shit what they think or feel about it, but I DO give a crap that people change their attitudes about who we are and that people know that our relationship is valid. I care that people stop thinking that our relationship is based only on sex, that people think we're just "sick" or we are "sinners" or have mental problems. I care that people know how much I love this man, that people understand that our love is absolutely NO different than ANY love two people have for one another, regardless of their gender.
I care about it, but I know there is little I can do to change people's minds. And for those of you who say "who cares what other's think, Live as you like" If someone doesn't let those people know that they're wrong, they will continue to think that way, they will continue to believe whatever myth they have been taught or preached. They will continue to spread the wrong idea about who you and I are, and about what you and I believe in. Not caring about what others think, to me is akin to sticking you head in the sand. You HAVE to care and stand up to it, if you're ever going to change it. I don't mean care about their opinion by not holding your partner's hand in public or not giving him or her a kiss when it might not seem an "appropriate" place to do that. My attitude now is "fuck 'em". If a "straight" couple could hold hands in "this" situation, wherever that might be, then there is NO reason we can't either. If someone has a problem with it, and THIS is what I mean by caring what people think, and they make a comment or "suck their tongue's" Speak out! Call them on it. Get IN THEIR FACE. Let them know, you are NO different than ANY other couple.
Listen, I also know that I'm "preaching to the choir" writing about it here. You, gentle reader, are already more than aware of our problems, you know how we feel. You have followed along with this saga from the beginning, or for some of you, maybe it's your first time reading these words here. I get new emails every single day from people who have "found" this site for the first time and write to say hello, and how they feel sorry about our situation and wish us the best of luck in the future. I know I don't have to tell YOU about the problems two "bi-national" gay men, so desperately in love, have to face.
We are headed down a road paved with the tears of many couples before us, and we are adding our tears to that well-traveled road now. My only hope is that what we learn and what we might be able to contribute to the path will someday open the doors for others. Others who will, without a single doubt, find themselves in exactly the same situation. We are not the first travelers along this way and we will certainly, and unfortunately, not be the last. It is the strength of those others, like the Tim Miller and Alistair McCartney's  and the Marta Donayre and Leslie Bulbuk's and their struggles which we will cling to. I can only hope that as we learn and grow from this experience, one day some other bi-national couple, who find themselves facing this road, can draw some small amount of strength from our story. In the fact that, against all the odds, two people whose love was stronger than the people who tried to keep them apart, stronger than a country's law which worked against them, whose love lasted and grew stronger, against all the odds.
And in the end ...survived.
I know, in my heart, that our  love will do exactly that.

Wednesday,February 20th, 2002: Well, since I'm a believer in making the best of a bad situation and always looking on the bright side, I was "hard-pressed" to come up with a bright side to Rodney leaving, and my trip with him to Malaysia. Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm kind of excited to be going and all, I just wish, with all my heart, the reason for going were different.
Anyway, since I'm going to be gone for a little over 2 weeks and touring around South East Asia, I thought, "Hey, why not celebrate it like the big stars do?"
So, here it is... The ALL NEW Jay Sheldon Dot Com "M-tour" concert shirt!
Click for a larger view of front designClick for a larger view of back design
You can buy them now at the official Jay Sheldon Dot Com store, but they're only available until I return. Get your's today! And by the way, while I know they're a bit "pricey" I have only marked them up VERY slightly to cover my costs. I really want to get these out there. If you're one of the many people who've bought the official Jay Sheldon merchandise in the past, I'm sure you'll want to pick up one of these unique shirts, while they last! They're fun and the list on the back includes cities I'll be visiting while there.
I know, I know.... I'm officially a nut case! So sue me! hehehe

Monday, February 18th, 2002: I love long weekends!
We went out Saturday night to KWEST and Bourbon Street and saw a bunch of friends and had a great time. Last night we went to T-dance last night at Atlantic Shores. It was a blast, danced the night away, then hit Bourbon Street afterwards, but it was dead. I thought it might be busier since some people had today off for President's Day, but no such luck.
Rodney and I had a long talk last night and although we both knew what was to come, as I told you, I had left the ultimate decision up to him as to what he was going to do when his visa expired. If he wanted to overstay and deal with it, I'd be behind him no matter what happened. But I did let him know that what I really wanted, bottom line, was whatever would be best for him. It was very tough to say the words, but it's true. I love him so much that whatever is best for him, is what I want too. So, I told him my feelings, about what was in my heart. That my feelings were that he should not overstay and should return home to wait. That he shouldn't do anything that might jeopardize the future and his eventually becoming  a legal American citizen, if possible. That I would be here for him always, and one day, wonderful, amazing day, we would be together, forever again. I truly believe in my heart that ultimately it will be best for us too. So, that having been said....      
Today, we made our reservations to go to Malaysia. (but haven't paid for them yet! Still time for a miracle to happen)
It is an extremely melancholy time for me. I'm very much looking forward to seeing where he lives and meeting his friends and family, but the reason for going is tearing me apart. As of now, it looks as if we'll be leaving Key West on March 22nd and spend two full weeks together in Kuala Lumpur. Then, I'll be getting on the plane and returning to Key West, alone. I should be back here on April 7th. (not that I'll be any good to anyone for a while) I'll keep you updated as things get closer.
When I return, I'm planning on spending a great deal of time and energy "getting the word out" about equal immigration laws, including the Permanent Partners Immigration Act. I'll also be focusing my time on promoting that cause. I've been in touch with the national office, and I'll do whatever I can to spread the word. Please, let me ask you a favor again, if anything I've done or written here has touched you in anyway, or maybe made you smile, or entertained you for a moment, Take some time and let people know how important it is to support this kind of legislation. You'd be amazed how much it really DOES get noticed when you take the time to write your representatives. They really DO pay attention most of the time. Let them know you vote and you're watching what they do and how they vote on these kind of bills.
I'm working on ways to get pictures up on the site while I'm in Malaysia, but I'm not sure it's going to work. If so, you'll be able to follow along as we go. If not, I will, of course, take a TON of pictures and get them all posted up here as soon as I can after I return.
Hey! That's more than a month from now, so let's enjoy the time we have, huh?!

Friday, February 15th, 2002: Wizzzz! Spinnnnnn! Whirrrrrrl!!! That's what my head is doing this morning! But for all the right reasons.
Yesterday was THE most memorable Valentine's Day I've EVER had in my life.
Click for larger shot in new window!
Let me tell you, never, repeat NEVER let two hopeless romantics get together for Valentine's Day, all HELL is sure to break loose! (And it did) I had some surprises planned for Rodney and had everything hidden in Mark's room, flowers and balloons and candles, his room looked like a little gift shop! But, the problem was that Rodney had the day off (as did I) and I couldn't get rid of him for even a few minutes so I could set it all up. Both of us had Valentine's Day off, since to us 'romance' fools, we consider it almost as big a holiday as Christmas, ya know!? SO we spent the day together, mostly just hanging around. We did some shopping and it was also Berty's birthday! Berty is the front desk manager at the hotel where Rodney works. We bought him the cutest lamp, it's covered in leopard skin (not real) and it's so "fu-fie!" it's adorable and just Berty's style. He loved it. So we went to the hotel and had cake and a little celebration. Then towards evening, I'm really getting worried, since I still haven't thought of a way to get Rodney out of the house so I can set things up! We had decided to have a nice dinner at home for Valentine's instead of going out, and found some really nice salmon and tuna at Albertson's. So we started making sushi and all the trimmings for a nice quiet evening…. Then Kenia came to the rescue! I called her secretly and arranged for her to call him and ask him to come over for a little bit for whatever reason she could think of. So, she called back and off he went. If you had been looking in at about that time, I must have looked like a madman! I started running all over the house, throwing things around, pulling things out of Mark's room. I didn't know how much time I would have.
As it turned out I had plenty of time. When he returned I had all the lights out and the entire house lit with candles in all shapes and sizes. A TON of the most adorable little heart-shaped tea lights too, they were SO cute! Now, Rodney had specifically ask me not to buy more roses for Valentine's Day, since they are so expensive this time of year. So I honored his request…. And FILLED the house with Tulips! They are his favorite flower, white and yellow one's in particular, and that's exactly what I had. I found "variegated" yellow tulips that smelled heavenly! A huge flower balloon that said, "I love you". I couldn't resist the urge for roses, so I got him a big "chocolate" rose, (Hey, I had to get at least ONE, right?)

Click for larger shot in new window! Click for larger shot in new window!

Now, let me share with you the saga of the "Kiss-Kiss bears" I'm sure you've seen them. They are adorable, little magnets in their noses make them "kiss" when you put them close together. HOWEVER, here's a little "gay" secret to the Kiss-Kiss bears. They come in Pink and Purple. The pink is, by her clothing and color, obviously meant to be the girl bear and the Purple, the boy bear. Well, if you take two purple (or pink) bears and play with the little magnets inside the noses, you can turn one of the magnets around inside, (remember your elementary school science class, opposite's attract, like repel) Once one of the magnets is reversed, the two purple  (or pink) one's kiss-kiss! First of all I spend an entire day looking for these things. When you live on a small island, the selection is limited and once they're gone…. You're screwed! Everybody was out of stock! Then, one store here finally received their new shipment 2 days before Valentine's Day. (Thank you Walgreen's!). Well, I go in and pick out two purple ones, bring them to the counter and the clerk looks at them and then looks at me and says, "You have to buy a pair!" I said I did buy a pair; there are two of them. She looks and says, "No, one of each, one pink and one purple."
Well, listen, with my newfound chutzpah (read: balls) I looked straight in the eyes of this obviously misinformed, straight sales clerk and said, "Lady, I'm gay. I think it's perfectly all right for two purple bear to kiss-kiss if they choose to. There's nothing, anywhere that says I HAVE to buy one pink and one purple, I picked out the "pair" I want, and I'm willing to pay for them. Not only that, but my buying two purple kiss-kiss bears only means that for some lesbian couple, there's two PINK kiss-kiss bear left. Now, if you don't want to sell me these two bears, I'll be happy to take my business elsewhere, AND let everyone and anyone who'll listen, know that Walgreen's has a problem selling same-sex bear partners." (Hey, I was taking my chances and hoping she didn't know these were probably the only kiss-kiss bears left on the island!) Well, she looked at the bears for a minute, looked up at me and I guess she must have seen that "I'm dead assed serious-Don't screw with me" look in my face. She picked up the bears and ran their little kiss-kiss butts through the scanner!
I promptly paid and left before she could think of a witty retort! So, if I go in next week, and see two little pink kiss-kiss bears left over…. I'll buy them. Hey I have a couple of lesbian friends that I just KNOW will love them!

Okay, back to the evening's events. My "hard-won" kiss-kiss bears had a beautiful Valentine's card in between their "kissing" lips and I had the table and lit with more candles. Champagne chilled in the ice bucket, (Dom Parignon) and two hand-blown, hand painted champagne glasses decorated with hearts and the word "l'amour". If you've been to Pier 1 lately, you've seen them. I put one white tulip in each of the glasses and filled them with those little "Sweetheart" candies,the ones with the sayings on them.Happy Valentine's Day
I had a difficult time thinking of a gift to buy him. I knew I couldn't top Christmas, but that got me thinking, I've already taken care of his wrist and his finger, there are not many more appendages to do (har dee har har!) so for Valentine's Day I encircled his neck! I bought him a Mizpah. You're probably familiar with that even if you don't know what it's called. It's a pendant that's engraved with the passage from the book of Genesis, "The Lord watch over me and thee when we are absent, one from the other." It's split down the middle and each of us wears one half. After he opened it, we split the pendant together, kind of "wishbone" fashion and each put the other's around our necks on beautiful silver chains.
If it is our fate, that we are to be apart for a time, I can only hope that, whatever higher power is up there, will indeed watch over us, always.

The rest of the evening was as warm and cuddly and romantic as you can imagine… but, I think I'll leave out those details…. Suffice to say, this was the most incredible Valentine's Day ever. I hope yours was too!

Wednesday, February 13th, 2002: Okay, Okay…I'm sorry. I really really am trying to keep up to date around here, but time seems to be flying by so quickly lately!
There's a bunch of things I have to tell you about, some simple and some complex. First let me show you the most remarkable meal that the love of my life made for us the other day. Rodney is an incredible chef, as I think I've written about here before. However, although he's Malay-Chinese, he doesn't cook a lot of Asian foods. Now don't misunderstand me, it isn't that he can't! When he does cook that style of cuisine, it's WONDERFUL. It's simply that he prefers to be "adventurous" when it comes to the kitchen, (among other places!)
< all right THAT'S enough! > Anyway, he DID make a very traditional Malay dish for lunch the other day and it was WONDERFUL! It's called Nasi Lemak.
Here's a picture.
Nasi Lemak YUMMY!
If you click on the thumbnail shot, it'll open in a larger new window. In a word… YUMMY! Spicy hot, savory, just incredible, and he says it's very typically Malay. You can find it with variations at a lot of roadside stands in Malaysia.
Now, on to other things. We had a dinner party last weekend. Bertie and Kenia came over for a delicious roast beef dinner that we made. Well, I say "we", Rodney did the roast and the asparagus with the béarnaise sauce, and all I did was my famous mashed potatoes. Now I can hear you laughing…just hang on a second! I can hear you laughing! It's an art you know?! Making good tasty mashed potatoes. I make them VERY well thank you! We all had a great time and we went out partying afterwards at KWEST and Bourbon Street. We had forgotten it was the Mardi Gras celebration and they crowned the new "King of Bourbon Street: I forget his name but OH MY! What a hunk! Woo Hoo! We all had a great time and guess what? Mark (the mostly silent roommate) actually went out with us! It was a lot of fun and he no sooner walked in the place than someone grabbed his butt! Some guys have ALL the luck! He wasn't interested, but hey, at least he had the chance! Rodney and I danced the night away and really enjoyed ourselves. One little side note to JIMMY: Very funny pal! Stop playing with my hair! Thought I didn't notice?!

The phone rang yesterday and I had a HUGE surprise. It was Chau calling to say hello! (See my "friends" page) I haven't heard from Chau in months and so we had bunch of catching up to do. As it turns out, he also has a new man in his life AND he is Malaysian! I always felt Chau and I were "cosmically" connected! As we talked it was incredible, the similarities were unbelievable! Chau is almost finished with his schooling and he about to graduate from a course that saw something like 80 percent of the people drop out because if the intense nature of this course of study. It's something medical and it's very mind boggling, and I'm so proud of Chau for sticking it out and completing this course. It wasn't easy, but you made it! It is always so nice to hear from friends you haven't heard from in a long time. I can't tell you how much it meant to me and how big of a smile it put on my face to hear from him again after all this time. I've usually made a habit of doing just that, calling someone I haven't spoken to in ages, just to say "hi" and "I'm thinking of you". Do someone a favor, think of an old friend, someone you haven't heard from in a long time, maybe even years and years. Call them! If you don't have their number anymore, take a few minutes and look it up. These days with the Internet sources available and the 411-directory assistance set up the way it is, you'd be amazed the numbers they can find for you, even sometimes if you don't know where they live! Try it and give that special person a call, it only takes a few minutes and it will make someone's day, week, or maybe even month.

More "kind of" good news… as I've written about already here. I've been in touch with Tim Miller the performance artist who's in a very similar situation to our problem with Rodney's Visa running out. He gave me a name of someone at the Lesbian and Gay Immigrations Rights Task Force in New York City, at their national office. I had left a message a while ago for him and yesterday he called me back at home. He spent a long time talking with me about ways in which we might solve our problem and things to be careful of. It was refreshing, after banging my head against the wall so often, to actually find someone who was willing to take the time to really listen and understand our troubles and try and help. As it turned out, he had met Rodney while he and his partner were vacationing last year here in Key West! It truly IS a small world! Please do what you can to help support the Permanent Partner's Immigration Act. You can find out more about it on the LGIRTF website. There's also a petition to sign "electronically" there. Please do that! With the events of late, I have made a resolve in my life to be much more active and outspoken from this moment on…When someone makes a comment about lesbian and gay couples and how we're not REALLY married, "It doesn't count", "They shouldn't have that right" ", "…defending the sanctity of marriage: …every time you hear that and don't step up to the plate and defend our honor (yours AND mine) and honor our partnerships, we lose a little. Every time you allow someone to continue not only to think that way, but also to pass on that type of ridiculous bullshit attitudes to others and don't say something, it hurts all of us. Every single one of us. All the "Jay & Rodney's" out there suffer for it. That's why, as I said, I have made a personal resolve to speak up. I can clearly remember instances when I've heard people make those kinds of comments and I'll admit, I've turned a deaf ear and walked away. Well, not anymore. Now I know the kind of heartache it causes. I will not allow that kind of thinking to continue when I'm around. It might not do much to change many people, but you know, if it only changes one person's mind, if I make one person stop for just a moment and think about it, I've made a difference.

Well, unfortunately, even with the help of the Lesbian and Gay Immigration Rights Task Force there isn't really much we are going to be able to do about this problem. I am trying to get myself prepared to spend the time apart, begin together when our schedules (and our pocketbooks) allow, and believe that the love we share will be strong enough to get us through. In my heart, I know it will be. It's all I have to cling to.

More news on that front… When Rodney returns to Malaysia…I'M GOING WITH HIM! WOO HOO!

Now, before you get all excited and think you'll be losing me forever, you won't. I have found some very inexpensive round trip tickets from Miami to Malaysia. With some shuffling I was able to get the time, and money and when that plane lifts off from Miami International for Kuala Lumpur, it will be carrying TWO passengers from Key West! Rodney… and me! I'll be spending about 2 weeks there with him, I'll get to meet his family and see the city where he lives, and meet some of his friends. In spite of the fact that I'd much not have to make the trip at all, I'm very much looking forward to it. All except for that last part, when I get on the plane heading back to Key West and he stays there. That will be the most difficult moment of my entire life. Trust me on this one.

So, I'll keep you up to date, I'm even trying to arrange a way to get you some pictures of our trip WHILE I'm there, so you don't have to wait for me to get back. I'll certainly be keeping a journal of the trip and taking a lot of shots, and you can expect a big spread when I return. But for now, that's enough time down the road from now, that I'll be letting you know more as it gets closer.

Oh my gawd! This has turned into a novel of a journal update! One last thing…and I hope I haven't bored you by now.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. A day for love!
Let me tell you what my sweetheart did for me. I know about it before tomorrow, because he had NO knowledge of these things and wanted to be sure he bought a good one, so he asked me first.


Now a brief story, (I know, I know!)
I have never liked electronic pianos, I learned to play on an ugly old upright and I'd take that over the best electronic money can buy. They just don't "feel" like a real piano. Well, not anymore, I have been SO impressed with the new technology. It's amazing. They "feel" just like the real thing! Okay enough techie-talk, I have a new Yamaha piano winging it's way here and it should be here on Friday!!! WOW!  I can't wait, I haven't had my fingers on a keyboard in years, I miss it so much, BUT
you know what's the MOST special part of all?   I will always think of my love for him when I'm playing. What better way to spend that "hour" a day together, (see Feb 7th update) even if we can't be physically together?

Rodney, my love…you are my universe, you mean the world to me. I can't think of another person on earth
I'd rather be spending this special day, and the rest of my life with, than you.
I love you…. always, and forever.

Happy Valentine's Day!    

Thursday, February 7th, 2002:Hey! It's February already! Valentine's Month! What are YOU doing for YOUR sweetie?! Rodney has the day off, I'm still trying to get the day off and we're still deciding on what we'll do to make it special.
Wanna hear something that will make you say, "awwwwwwwww"? Last night as we lay in bed, he turned to me and told me this would be the first Valentine's Day he's actually spend with someone he loves. In the past he's always been apart from the special person in his life, because of different circumstances, but THIS year he actually gets to spend this special day with the special guy in his life! (okay now, all together) "awwwwwwwwww!" Seriously, I can't think of another Valentine's Day that will mean as much to me as this one. As I said we're still deciding on our plans, but you know what? Even if we just stay home and spend the time together, it will be the very best Valentine's of my life!
Things are moving along for our plans for him having to leave the country. I met and found some great information from a very special guy. He's a performance artist, you may have heard of him before. His name is Tim Miller. His story is very similar to ours, in that his lover's visa is also running out and they are going to be faced with moving to Canada to be together, or live apart for a time, because of the same ridiculous Immigration laws that are going to keep Rodney and I physically apart for so long.
He gave me some great advise and put me in touch with some people who are trying to help. Check out his website. It's great. His new book comes out this March.
You'll notice a new logo on the opening pages to Jay Sheldon Dot Com. It looks like this:
Equal Immigration Rights NOW!!!!

It's the Lesbian and Gay Immigration Rights Task Force site. (LGIRTF) A coalition of immigrants, attorneys and other activists that addresses the widespread discriminatory impact of immigration laws on the lives of lesbians, gay men and people with HIV through education, outreach and advocacy and by providing legal services, information, referrals, and support. They are working every day to help people like Rodney and me. Please check out the site, sign the petitions and let YOUR congress-people know they need to support legislation like the "Permanent Partners Immigration Act" (PPIA). One day, my golden day.
One other item related to our staying together. I'm not sure that he meant this for "public consumption, but I've edited out the personal parts and I just HAVE to copy an email that someone very special sent to me. I met "Dynamic Dad" a while ago. He found this site and wrote to say hello. We've emailed each other back and forth and become "internet friends". He took it upon himself to write me with some beautiful advise which I just feel I have got to share with you. I do this because I know how much it had helped Rodney and me, and if you ever find yourself in a similar situation, I know it can help you. In fact, I'd call it a "Gay couples survival guide" I was absolutely "floored" when I read it.
I found myself sitting here and wondering just what I was going to do, as I'm not the best at dealing with these kinds of problems of the heart. I have a tendency to overreact. Dynamic Dad's advise was like a bright light in a dark time.
(DD: I will never be able to thank you enough for what you've passed along to us. It really helped and continues to help. I hope you don't mind my posting a bit of it here, but it is too valuable to keep to myself.)

"Hi again Jay, we corresponded a few months ago.  As always I've enjoyed your website and the "continuing adventures of Jay Sheldon." As a former resident of Key West, I check in on you each day at least once. Not so much to watch you on webcam (though I'm a webcammer too as you know), but more to see your Journal and how your life is going, my friend.
In early December, your one journal entry made it all quite clear that you were headed for some really "tuff" times in the very near future. Throughout the holidays I refrained from writing to you while you and Rodney were enjoying your lives "together" because I didn't want to do anything in the way of correspondence that might spoil those wonderful times.
However, with your most recent entry (31 Jan) I believe that you (and Rodney) have now begun to deal with that uncertain future, my friend. My heart, love, and best wishes go out to both of you as you embark on this untraveled path.
While I won't bore you with all the details of the experiences my lover and I have gone through over the last 22+ years. Suffice it to say, because of our careers and professions there have been many times during that period when we have been forced to live apart for almost as much as a year at a time on opposite ends of the country and world. While, indeed we didn't have to deal with the "immigration" issues that you and Rodney must face, I guess it doesn't really matter what the "issue" is, when all you know in your heart is that you're alone and not with the person you love, worship and would without thought, die for.
All the cliches (e.g., "absence makes the heart grow fonder" etc) are not going to help one bit, and if anything, they'll probably piss you off like they did us, during our many years of separation(s). However, my dear loving men, you can also believe me when I say, that just because you are "forced" <for whatever idiotic reason> to be apart, does not mean that it has to jeopardize the love that you have for each other, nor the relationship that you have between the two of you. Likewise there are no secret ingredients for making all of that happen, as the ingredients for each loving relationship vary among the loving couples who must endure these separations.I can easily list a few of the things that worked for my other half and I over the last 22 years and they're really pretty simple:

1. Devote a minimum of one (uninterrupted) hour each day to your mate (whether you're together or apart). Together is not always easy either, I know, especially if you have different schedules, work-related stress etc... but you cannot afford to NOT do that, so make the time! When you're apart, do the very same thing.... one full hour, uninterrupted. Of course with the internet there may be ways you can help that along by using some form of instant messenger if possible. Time changes are difficult but with a little work and effort you both can find a time when the two of you can be "together" if only for 5 or 10 minutes (make it happen). Telephone calls should be "scheduled" (like any other appointment you might have) so that the precious time that the two of you can talk is uninterrupted and you can devote yourself entirely to one another. If there is no other way, use email or even the postal services {gasp!} to spend that one uninterrupted hour each day with each other. Journals, diaries, email ..whatever it takes. Find ways each day to express the love you have for one another, without dwelling on the fact that you are apart.

2, Do NOT project your misery onto your mate. (edited personal story here)  The time and location differences will necessarily result in different happenings at different times. Don't try to put each other into your "time zone happenings" at that moment. There is nothing the other can do about it, so it makes no sense to saddle them with that kind of thing. Things like that only serve to frustrate your partner because of the "situation" causing you to be apart in the first place.

3. As you must part physical company, after being together for some period of time ... always, Always, ALWAYS, have at least a tentative schedule for your next "together time" ... it doesn't matter that it might be several months or more, but you MUST have something between the two of you that you can at least look forward too ... never leave your love and relationship open ended.

If you (plural) think they might work for, or might at least give you some basic ideas of things that would make your difficult journey easier, please use them.
Finally, and from my heart my friends, while I'm a bit older now and bit worn because of all the things we have gone through over the many years, if there is anything I can do to help either of you through this period that you're facing, rest assured it would not only be my pleasure, but my honor.
May your love last forever .. and may the two of you gain strength from that love you have for each other!

Best Regards,

Dynamic Dad"

Let me tell you, this simple yet loving advise, is exactly what will help us make it work through these next couple of years.
Rodney and I both agreed that these are the kinds of things that we can and will do to help "us" survive. Thank you again DD. You're in our prayers.
There's more to come and more news, including some great pictures I have to get added here in the journal, but I wanted to take at least a little time and bring you up to date on some of the important things so far. I'll get the fun stuff and the pictures up here over the weekend.
Don't forget to tell the people you love how much they mean to you...and do it everyday!
Talk with you soon....